Nivedita Das Narayan

A gentle share with you my friends, some of you who have been fairly impression-ed by Ms. Nooyi's now hugely debated, shared and tweeted interview. I wrote this more than ten days back  (covered in the thick of Parisian indulgences) and delayed posting it lest it be deemed expressed under heavy influences, not to forget the reactionary expression-urge felt almost immediately after reading the interview and (soon after) this blogpost ( http://yummyami.blogspot.sg/2014/07/this-isnt-usual-post.html )  that inspired me to agree and shake me out of my laziness. Since then many more discordant voices have appeared that tend to question, even de-pedestalise Ms. Nooyi's self indulgent version of the 'can't have it all' syndrome. And today when I post this, this perspective is perhaps the only one that takes into account the 'Man's'  position (if he had any) in this conundrum of chest-beating and back-thumping to burp up and spread the slogan of  ' ca...

Oh, so I was a phone-widow for a week! Why, is that melodrama? Really?! Drama all right and there's nothing mellow in not having recourse to messaging ( WhatsApp , Viber included) anyone  and no access to mail and FB on the move! Needless to say, I also did not have access to my entire contact list on my phone including Narayan's! (Although he is denying he had a terrific week free of a snoop-gating wife's numerous quests & queries all aimed towards 'What Time' does he get home?) And you know what that means, right?! it means being practically cut off, marooned, life hijacked, feeling prehistoric & retired to the desktop or the landline for the most important talking needs of the day! There's something else it meant - It meant no mindless, all day long, anytime, anywhere surfing, sniping, spying, parking, poking, emoting, checking and all that suff that can be categorically bracketed under JLT. Yes, and that is what I realised as the week progresse...

My Delhi is at a zillion levels.  My Delhi of yore, of childhood friendships and summer holidays; of some risks, some abandon of youth; of beginnings, of heartbreaks big and small; of sibling showdowns and youth meltdowns; my Delhi of family and timeless bonds, of the wide laned to the dusty narrow gullies, of rude auto-rickshaws, lecherous gawks, hawker hawks, gorgeous fare to loot by the roadside as also to drool at by the branded shopper arcades; of the crowded paradise of  Lajpat Nagar  with an answer to all my needs - the unrealized ones untill I spot them, especially. The only city I know which revives & titilates my desire for dressing up at spotting elegant Punjabi ladies in the most tasteful and drool-worthy traditional  daily-wear that makes me exchange a look with my sis/ with a friend and yearn to copy the cut and the look;)! A City where I have double the number of memories (includes friends) to say hello to than there are days in a quarte...

Ok, so I looked and looked and could not find a single picture of me in my Mother's arms and what I found was of all my siblings in hers:). Ten years back that would've have led to menial thoughts of no wonder I always felt least loved etc., but all that was before I became a Mom myself. Cut to date - it seems impossible that a Mom does not love her baby despite all the odd mood swings, temper tempests, misgivings and bad moorings of a day:). It is perhaps differently expressed with different kids as also each being of different disposition. Also a thought goes out to my dear Dad who many a time was intuitively motherly in his instincts and treatment towards us - after all Mother's Day is also as much about the feeling of motherly love and affection towards whosoever we wish to bestow it on! So here's to my Mom and to my Dad who many-a-time loved me with as much (at times a bit more) motherly instinct and affection: the couple in their solo days with T...

We women are crazily biased... desperate really and we are so, as Moms! Our sons get away with murder when one tenth of the crime could have pinned our husbands to the permanent tag of an ex-boyfriend or worse! A sudden peek at my boy's Patriarchal aloofness came through (rather comically) today when he was phone-tagging someone on his (toy) handset, and I engagingly asked him "who're you talking to AAdi?" He looked at me, irritated at my injunction into his imaginative play, unwilling to take time out to answer me, he says "shut up Mummy, you cook my food!!" ( which I was in the process of) - and I, well, was stumped & speechless! Not only was it smart-alecky, he is also the first male to ever say that to me and still be met with my benign smile! In between trying to contain my maternal pride, urge to pat him, shaken at the realization and trying to aggregate all these crisscrosses, I just realized how much we Moms work at earning these twisted accol...

And so I dragged myself out of mourning today... exactly a month it's been since Baba breathed his last! Mourning, in some ways, is pretty notional as just about everything carries on undisturbed and continues unchallenged for those who live on. It has been the same for me. It's in the intangibles! I found myself mourning when I just couldn't get myself to change my profile picture on fb till tonight, I found myself cringe at the thought of attending a dinner (that I just returned from) at a friends' that my husband committed to - at the prospect of socializing again; I think I'm mourning when, even after a month, I feel loathe to touch base with friends; and there are some feelings that are so intangible that coherent expression will be an effort just now! So i refrain! What lies beyond mourning? Memories - good & bad, sweet & bitter, family memories & of moments only between Baba & me. The shared and the loud ones will be re-lived, discussed & ...

Long cherished and short... Venturing into Chinatown today was a mixture of deja vu and self admonition. I guess it would've been much less so, if I'd imagined Chinatown in the context of this super-clean, manufactured and manicured Singapore! No offense meant to the city, if at all to my own romantic imagery of Chinatown in the places Kylie Kwong visits or the kind expected since my fascinated watching of the history of Singapore on the History Channel. For lack of better knowledge of the place we asked the cabbie to take us to Chinatown central to see the cab almost pull-over at a super-mall like giant structure. Quickly taking over to explain myself (earlier Anabelle, my help had directed the driver), I elaborated our wish to be taken to the old shopping area, the older part of the town for browsing, seeing the old structures - kind of experience. Quick on the uptake, the cabbie confirmed that that would be Temple Street also adding that there are several such streets and l...