Mourning, in some ways, is pretty notional as just about everything carries on undisturbed and continues unchallenged for those who live on. It has been the same for me. It's in the intangibles! I found myself mourning when I just couldn't get myself to change my profile picture on fb till tonight, I found myself cringe at the thought of attending a dinner (that I just returned from) at a friends' that my husband committed to - at the prospect of socializing again; I think I'm mourning when, even after a month, I feel loathe to touch base with friends; and there are some feelings that are so intangible that coherent expression will be an effort just now! So i refrain!
What lies beyond mourning? Memories - good & bad, sweet & bitter, family memories & of moments only between Baba & me. The shared and the loud ones will be re-lived, discussed & shared (sometime, I'm sure!), what's lost are the ones purely between him & me in words, in nuances, in pure telepathy!
That's what, in ways, personal mourning has been about; that I feel a part of me is lost forever, the part that was just between us, the wow -moments between a Father & a daughter! Now all a memory, and acutely personal!
My answer to 'Bhalo theko Ma' hence : 'Bhalo thakbo Baba' & will Love you always!
