Nivedita Das Narayan

Raju returned to work today. My interaction with him today would easily be the most real conversation that this Man Friday has managed to have with me in the last 2 yrs. A short retrospect – As N says, a proud Marathi Manoos this Raju, in his attitude, his way of life, his demeanor, his Marathi pride that is almost transparent in his responses, in the way he grooms himself, and safe to assume, in his personal life. And this Man lost his (only) 3-year old son less than 15 days back. Tragic would be only an understatement. Expectedly, (we) I was shaken to hear the news – sad for the man, anger at carelessness for having things (poison) lying around that was easily accessed by his son, disbelief and a nagging, wishful thought maybe this news is not true. But his confirmatory call twelve days later saying he wishes to join back, washed away all tentative possibilities. Can’t describe the feeling – but something akin to ‘how am I going to face him’, ‘what would I say to this man whose trage...

So I thought I’ll walk back from the gym today… and I am real glad that my momentary laziness did not overcome the instinct this morning. Before I tell you why… allow me to tell you about Mumbai this Jan (so far) – the coolest I’ve ever felt in the last 5 years, balmy, nice & crisp sun, the festive month having left behind some tantalizing hues & fragrances – colors & lights on the buildings and fences; busy bakeries; brisk business at the local shops, mobile nurseries on the ‘thelas’ – a veritable havoc of colors in winter chrysanthemums and daisies; roads that never cease being bulldozed through & reconstructed. May be it’s always been like this, may be it’s Bandra that manages to manifest all this far more visibly… or is it just Me caring to stop by, far more patiently, paying my surroundings their due attention, re-learning wonderment and thankfulness for little things, registering that the old system still lives on in parallel and if at all, far more connectedly. D...

The 2nd day in the year passed away rather unpleasantly (stomach infection taking center-stage) and I am back again on my feet. The one reason that drove me to blogging today is to put to paper the ‘true test’ and I am going to put myself to in the next 362 days in 2007. The test will be of my ‘character’- emotions or rather my capability to balance the lack of a professional status, the corresponding monetary independence, and all the trappings that came with it, with ‘the person’ that I am. Don’t misunderstand me as I am clearly looking forward to it. This is self- inflicted and as I said to my kids (quoting myself) ‘ … come Jan 1st, I am not taking anything for granted…’ and in my mind today, that says it all. I need to presume nothing and will need to tutor myself fast in that direction. It’s a reality that expressions & emotions will now tend to be measured far more critically and subjectively than before – whether by me or by others. And here’s where the sweet challenge of ‘o...

Phew!! It felt like the end of an era really just now!! No old identities will work anymore - my old salary account, ol' 2020 id, ol' visiting cards, even my old blogspot identity didn't work (couldn't be found) on this 1st day in 2007- pretty symbolic but now the sequel is inevitable!! So here 'meamateur2' is my new identity for my introspections & circumspections, mostly for sating my own hunger for expression and for those who're interested enough to know and read the tidings of this 'idle' mind in this un-pre empted year in my life ... I am embracing it! So till I deliver on my committment to this journey of sharing & expressing more often and audibly... here's to ME for the courageous, non-inebriated (actually alchohol-free) and most beautiful 'bringing in' of this year (the past three days in Khandala were just divine- Thank you N). till the next logging in ..